Here We Go Again.

On a lilac sky evening like this,
It’s a shame to think about you.
When the first morning wind hits my eyes,
It’s pitiful to open them from a dream about you.

We’ve played this game before,
So I already know your moves.
Knowing me and knowing you,
This can go on forever.

As long as I am the one,
Who is persistent and willing.
If only I can endure the humiliation,
Which you continue to send my way.

These funny ways of yours,
Of being dishonest and heartless.
There is nothing I can do,
But try and focus on anything else.

Silence,
Is all I am bound to receive.
Silence,
Is what will heal me from this disease of loving you.

Living the Dream.

Blinds closed and curtains drawn,
You still shut your eyes,
As tightly as you can,
To block out the light.

Your throat aches for water,
Nicotine stains on your fingers,
You begin another day,
Of slaving away for hours,
Without knowing why.

The meds keep you among the living,
Your mind remains full of ideas,
And knowledge many can’t even comprehend.
People can still love you,
Yet you wonder why.

When you can’t give anything in return,
But a snide coldness,
With the occasional tender word,
Because you don’t understand,
Their love for a diseased soul.

What You Fail To See.

If you think I’m innocent,
I can only find it laughable.
If you assume that I know very little,
You can easily be proved wrong.

The stockings, the silk slips,
The love I give,
Is a facade that I have mastered,
To protect myself from the likes of you.

Even if sometimes,
The saccharine side of me,
Escapes from its reigns,
It’s not enough for you to be certain.

It’s all a show,
An adrenaline inducing,
Mind-altering and seductive,
Show.

If you don’t like it,
You can throw chains at me,
On my stage,
But I’ll never put them on.

The Times We’re In.

Hearing the words
‘I will miss you’
Has kept me up at night.

Only you have the power
To do that
As much as I can’t
Stand the thought of it.

You’ll find someone to
Take my place
But it will not be the same.

Lips stained with wine
You kiss me
Feverishly and honestly
Proving my point.

We’re both trash
Like it or not
But we’re meant to be.

We’re both crooks
Who tried to play the game
Not knowing the rules
Who fell in this void of blissfulness.

The Story of Why I Love You.

Even you can’t understand,
This strange infatuation of mine.
When you ask me,
Why I stick around,
The rush of answers,
Seems overwhelming.

From the intricate ways of your mind,
To the look you give me,
That sets my nerves on fire,
Your smile,
Which means so much,
Because you are not used,
To being happy.

Refusing to accept your rejection,
Was the strongest choice I’ve made,
One which I can never regret,
For even if this now seems,
Too good to be true,
I can revel in your presence,
For just a little longer.

Waking up with you near me,
With the sunlight exposing our flaws,
Is always a moment,
When everything seems clear,
Is always the beginning of another story,
And no longer the end of one.

A Magnificent Routine.

Drowsy days and sparkling nights,
When I get your attention,
I could not ask for more,
The moments when you care,
Make me light up.

Is it still me,
In this constant charade,
Of moral consequences,
Between wanting to leave,
And hoping this would last forever.

The first morning coffee and cigarette,
Hits my mind with sobriety,
As I look at you and know,
That this can never work,
Before I drift off into a dream again.

Aftermath.

The off-white sheets,
The drops of paint on the wood floor,
Your arm around me,
I don’t need to shut my eyes,
To live the fantasy,
As it has become my reality.

You will never say,
Those three words to me,
Yet I’m surprised,
How little it matters,
If only I can feel your touch,
And listen to your voice.

Obsession develops personality,
Loving you unrequitedly,
Has made me see that,
And even though you’ll never know,
The extent to which I care for you,
I’ll cherish every moment between us
Forever.