Self-portrait in Ink

Everything fades to grey,
The past already looms in the shadows
As the burning orange sun hides behind roofs
And the silence attacks.


You know everything I’ve ever done,
Everything I’ve chosen to tell you,
Everything I can tell you,
Everything I regret I told you.
The words cannot be taken back.

Now the past hovers over you too,
Showering you with nightmares of who I was,
The way I still am.
You love the broken me,
I despise every sign of her.

This was supposed to pull me out from the darkness,
You were supposed to see the old me,
Yet you latched on to my pain,
Seeing only the peak of the black mountain of regrets,
Because you yearn to fix what is broken.


A broken toy, idealized,
I wish that you’ll never know,
That I want this to stop,
That I want to see the sun without worrying about the shadows.


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